B109: Per Iter Tenebricosum

​When I was at school, one of my favourite poems was “Per Iter Tenebricosum” by Oliver St. John Gogarty (Along The Dark Way) (see the first photo below).  It talks about the inevitability of death and it being “a fate that leads the natural way”.  I always thought it odd that even the most practical, organised people went through life acting as if death would never happen to them.   A couple of years later when I started working in an accountancy firm, I saw at first hand the upset and trauma 

​left behind for friends and families when people died suddenly with no end-of-life planning such as a Will.  Or even never discussing in advance with their loved ones whether they wanted cremation or burial.  Now, I’m not talking about dwelling on death in a morbid way.  More the opposite in fact; planning for the worst (death) and hoping for the best (enjoying a great life beforehand).  

So, along comes the Summer of 2017 when I came uncomfortably close to “kicking the bucket”, “popping my clogs”, “biting the dust”…. all those euphemisms for dying.  It came totally without warning and even though I’m a fairly organised person, if I HAD died then, I would have left a bit of a mess behind as regards my personal affairs.  I’m talking out-of-date Will and no one knowing where anything was kept.  No one knowing where/how I’d like my funeral or even if I wanted a funeral.  With that in mind, I’m (a bit) more organised these days on that score.  So, learning from that experience, this blog covers my suggestions on what “stuff” you should gather together NOW to have to hand for yourself in the event of any emergency.  And suggestions on a dozen things to prepare for your family and friends to ease the trauma somewhat if the worst should happen and they are left without you if you get hit by a bus.  I call it my “ICE Box” (In Case Of Emergency Box, not the one you put ice-lollies in!! 😂).

​Now, nobody likes talking about dying but as the above poem says, as sure as God made little apples, it will come to us all.  But actually it’s not just about dying. The more I think about it, the more I realise that the things you do when you plan for around your death and incapacity are really just about getting your stuff together — putting your life, your data, your commitments, and your finances in resilient and well-organised shape. If your life is pulled-together enough such that your family and friends could run it if you disappear, it will also be pulled-together enough to make things easier for yourself on a day-today basis in the here and now.
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Now I know, I know ….. getting organised might be a pain for you…..more for some than others.   Doing your Will is a hassle, collecting documents is a drag and listing your passwords and codes is a pain in the rear-end. I know, I get it. But if it’s a hassle for YOU who’s familiar with your own stuff, just imagine how difficult it will be for those you leave behind trying to do it.  At least make a start for their sake!  While I would never condone it on the grounds of animal welfare, they say that the best way to eat an elephant is a bite at a time.  So, take the first bite today!!  

WHAT IS AN "ICE BOX"?

Basically, an ICE (In Case Of Emergency) Box is where you house all of you and your family’s important information so it can be easily found in the event that something happens to you. But it can also be useful for yourself to have all “important stuff” ready-to-hand in one place.
No matter what your age or the size of your family you really should consider setting up an ICE Box. Whether you are single, married, have children or not, everyone should prepare one.

​HOW TO SET UP AN "ICE BOX"

STEP #1  DECIDE ON A SAFE LOCATION
You will want to choose a location that is easy to find as well as easy to access by anyone in your family that you give permission to. Depending on the amount of “important stuff” you have, I would recommend either a Filing Box, Drawer or a separate Filing Cabinet – one that you can lock if possible.  Personally, I use a metal Filing Box (see below) that is fire-proof.  My next-of-kin know where it is in the event of an emergency.

My "ICE Box"

STEP #2  HAVE A NEXT-OF-KIN MEETING
Once you decide to set up an ICE Box, you will want to talk things over with your next-of-kin if possible. This will help you to know that everyone you want to knows you have an ICE Box and where it is and it gives them the chance to ask any questions if they have them.

It is best to be proactive. Keep your next-of-kin well informed so your wishes are known now in the event something happens later.
 
STEP #3  WHAT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR ICE BOX
So the starting point for my ICE (In Case Of Emergency) Box is a Personal Affairs Checklist (PAC) with suggestions as to what to include.  The PAC  I use is available freely from the Institute of Chartered Accountants (DOWNLOADABLE HERE).  The completed PAC can then be included in your ICE Box together with any supporting documentation.

In some cases having the original copy of your documents may not always be an option, in this case, a copy is fine. Just make a note in your Personal Affairs Checklist (PAC) that you can keep in your ICE Box of where the original is being kept just in case it is needed. 

"ICE Box" Contents

1.  Contact Details of Your Advisors & Essential Service Providers
It’s a good idea to have the contact details of the following readily available in your ICE Box.  Though you probably have them in your smart phone nowadays, this may not be readily available in an emergency.

• Next-of-kin
• Doctor
• Dentist
• Solicitor
• Plumber
• Electrician
• Accountant (if applicable)
• Preferred Undertaker
• Priest/ Religious (if applicable)

 
2.  Will and Estate Plans

• Include information in the PAC regarding your Last Will & Testament (date made, where the original is kept, the names of your executors).  Attach a copy of the Will if you have it.  It goes without saying that I believe every adult should have a Will no matter how young.
• If you have already purchased a Grave Plot include in the PAC and attach details.
• Set out your preferred Funeral Arrangements in the PAC. Listing exactly what you would like done in the event of your death can be so incredibly helpful for your family. The last thing they want to do is make important decisions in a vacuum. Having a list of the “what and how” will be so comforting for your loved ones.  If you’ve paid in advance include correspondence in the ISE Box
• Include your wishes regarding Care of your Pets.
• Medical Research/ Donor Card details (e.g. kidneys, organs etc.).
• If you have a Living Will and/or Power of Attorney include details in the PAC and include copies of the relevant documents in the ICE Box.

 
3.  Financial Accounts

• On the Personal Affairs Checklist (PAC) Include all information regarding your bank, building society, credit union and post office accounts (e.g. current/checking, savings, all loans, mortgage, credit cards, memberships, etc.). 
  
• Include details on any Investments (e.g shares, prize bonds, etc) and attach certs.   Anything that involves money that is in you and/or your spouse’s name should be included.

List the institution name, account numbers and phone number of each establishment. Remember, each company will need to be contacted in the event of your demise so be sure to include any information that will help to make this task a bit easier.

Last Will and Testament

4.  Property

• If you own a residence, include details of where the Property Deeds are and any mortgage.  If you are in rented premises include your Lease details in your PAC and place a copy of your lease in the ICE Box.
• Do the same for any Investment Property you own and may have leased out.

5.  Insurance Policies

• All the information you have for life assurance and health, home, and car insurance should be included on the PAC. 
  
• Include renewal dates, contact names, phone numbers, and addresses as well. 
  
• Place any policy documents in the ICE Box.

6.  Legal Documents
Include any:

• deeds
  
• licenses
  
• social security cards
  
• birth/marriage certificates
  
• passports, and
  
• titles.
  

If you cannot put the originals in, a copy should be kept in its place along with a note giving the location of the original.

Insurance Policies

7.  Employment/ Social Welfare and/or Pension Details

• If in employment, on the PAC include details of your employer, PPS number and date of payment of salary (if applicable).
• If in receipt of social welfare include details on the PAC.
• If in receipt of a private pension include details on the PAC.

8.  Passwords

• Set out your computer and smartphone access codes and passwords.
• Keep a list of any passwords to online accounts or sites that may need to be accessed on your behalf. List the site, the username, password and the reason why you are including it.

 You can wish to use an online password keeper or app to keep things easy to find and organized. I use Dashlane.

9.  Jewellery /Other Assets

• If you have any prized possessions (e.g. rings, watches etc.) list them and their location in your Personal Affairs Checklist (PAC).
• Not many people have safe deposit boxes anymore, but if you do, make sure to include the information on where it is and how to access it. 

Jewellery

10.  Utilities & Monthly Budget 

• If you are in charge of the bills and budget for your home this can be quite helpful for your spouse or loved ones.
  
• Knowing exactly what bills are to be paid each month will allow them to focus on other things.

 
11.  Tax Returns 

• Keeping a copy of 2-3 years of tax returns is helpful.
  
• You do not need to include everything but the main return can be helpful.

 
12.  Associations & Memberships

• Your next-of-kin might need to inform any organisations of which you are a member of your demise, so include details on your PAC.
• Equally if you have subscriptions and regular charitable donations these may need to be cancelled.

 

Utility Bills

SMART DIGITAL VAULTS

So the above are a dozen suggestions to physically include in an ICE Box.  I must mention that there are also online companies such as Everplans or Trustworthy that for a small annual fee get your household and life organised by guiding you through it all: from sharing your Will and insurance documents with the right people in your life, to making sure your family knows how to work the new thermostat. I use Everplans and their smart digital vault is built to securely store all this vital information in an encrypted and quickly accessible manner, and their smart sharing capabilities are engineered to give your family easy access to the information they need, when they need it.  I would suggest to use these not as a replacement for an ICE Box but as an additional tool.

​DECLUTTERING

If you’re like me, the sheer discipline of organising your stuff for your “In Case of Emergency Box (ICE Box)” may also get you thinking about decluttering in general.  That’s always a cathartic thing to do anyway giving peace of mind for you, and no big junk pile for your relatives to have to pick through after you’re gone.   So, if you have any energy left after organising your ICE Box, it might be a good idea to go through each of your possessions asking, “Will anyone I know be happier if I save this?” This will probably result in a clear-out of dumping, donating, or distributing amongst loved ones.  Whatever’s left should have clear instructions left in your ICE Box as to what’s to be done with it after you’re gone.

So good luck with all of that!  The ICE (wo)man (has Been and) Cometh! 😂

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Bucket List Items Ticked Off in the above Blog post 109
​Number 43 - Giving Back

• "Get "My Stuff" Together ... before I kick the bucket!

​Other Blog Posts
Blog 11 - Sydney, Australia
Blog 12 - Hong Kong, China
Blog 17 - Beijing, Xi'an & Shanghai, China
Blog 19 - California, USA
Blog 27 - Scotland
Blog 28 - Barbados
Blog 29 - Canada

Are you organised?  Tell me about it in the comments section below.
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