B128: Health IS Wealth

16/4/2024

This week 20 years ago, I was going through trauma. On 13th of April 2004 – it seems like yesterday - my (then) 75 year-old mother, Peggy, collapsed in the kitchen at home in Carrick while making the tea for my dad, Mickey. In my lifetime up ‘til then, none of our small family of 4 had ever been in hospital. Peggy had bad health early on in their marriage with the loss of her first 5 babies, she had had a tubercular gland removed from her neck in the early fifties and had suffered bad headaches when Martin was a baby that was put down to neuritis. But nothing since I was born.

So, it was a huge shock to get the phonecall in Dublin that she had been taken to Waterford Regional Hospital (now WUH) by ambulance with a suspected sub-arachnoid brain haemorrhage (SAH). The neighbours on the road had been wonderful in picking her up and calling the ambulance. Peggy had gashed her head off the cooker. It was the Tuesday after Easter and I had been down visiting home over the weekend. She hadn’t been feeling 100%; feeling nauseous and headachy so I had picked up flu remedies at the pharmacy. I can’t describe the shock my 89-year-old dad Mickey, my brother Martin and I felt to see a woman that was always so fit and healthy completely knocked out.

She recovered quite well though from that first haemorrhage and was transferred by ambulance that Thursday (April 15th ) to Cork University Hospital for a CT Angiogram. I travelled in the ambulance with her – my first time ever in an ambulance, but sadly not my last. My close friend, Anne-Marie, arrived in Cork pretty much the same time as the ambulance 😊.

The angiogram confirmed that the SAH had been caused by a burst aneurism. Waterford does not have a neurosurgery unit and although Cork at that time could carry out a surgical procedure to clip off the aneurism, because of Peggy’s age, they thought it best that she be sent back to Waterford for stabilization and then transferred to Beaumont Hospital in Dublin for a coiling procedure. This would involve inserting a titanium coil up through her femoral artery to the site of the burst aneurism to effectively shore up the leak and prevent any bleeding in the future. At this stage, Peggy was a bit oblivious to how serious the situation was. I remember her trying to force sweets on the lady sharing the ward with her in Cork despite the woman protesting that she was diabetic. 😂

I was heading to Cork to see her a day or two later when I was notified she was being transferred to Waterford by ambulance and I vividly remember killing time in WUH at the cafeteria until her ambulance arrived with her in it. I was handed her medical file by the ambulance crew to hand over to WUH staff as they were called out again on an urgent call!!

Waterford University Hospital

I remember the worry of that weekend while we were waiting for her to stabilise. Unfortunately, during that wait. Peggy had a much bigger SAH one week later on April 20th 2004. So bad that the doctors in WUH gave her only hours to live. My brother, Martin, was at her bedside when she had the second bleed and rang me with the news to come quickly. Luckily, I was only 15 miles away in Carrick as work had given me compassionate leave. Mickey was playing Patience at the table when I took the call and I didn’t want to panic him. I rang my forever friend, Anne-Marie and she ran out of work to make the mad dash with me to WUH.

I remember they waited for me to arrive before they wheeled her off to do another brain scan as she was unconscious and it looked like she wasn’t going to make it. I still recall standing in the space where her bed had been and seeing her little size 5 slippers wondering if she would ever put them on again. A girl visiting her mam in the bed opposite stood up to give me a hug. The scan revealed a massive bleed and Peggy was only scoring 3 out of 15 on the coma scale. The news was broken to us by a junior female doctor. I know there’s probably no good way of telling people their loved one is dying….but she was particularly brutal at it. She literally said “your mother has had a massive bleed, there’s little brain activity, she will likely have another in the next hour or so that will kill her so maybe you should call family and a priest.” I was reeling from shock. I remember saying that Peggy would want to be an organ doner …. but that was ruled out.

Cork University Hospital

Shortly after that, Peggy was wheeled back in….she was drifting in and out of consciousness. My father arrived with mam’s sisters, Ally, Joan, Ellen and Teresa….and nieces and nephews… all coming to say good bye. It was harrowing. The priest came and gave her the last rites. I remember saying to the nurse “I think she recognizes us” but the nurse said that the extent of the bleed probably meant she was only following shadows. But I knew Peggy and to me she looked quizzical as if to say “what are ye all doing here??”

The evening and night of April 20th 2004 was probably the longest night of my life, the hours dragged and Peggy still lingered, eventually we convinced Mickey that he needed some rest and Anne-Marie brought him home. The extended family members left to go home. My aunt Joan offered to sit with me for which I am forever grateful. We sat beside Peggy’s bed with the curtains drawn around us wondering what was going to happen next and if she was going to suffer much.

I held her hands thinking that I had never really noticed how similar in shape our hands were…. albeit that Peggy’s hands had worked much harder than mine ever would. We constantly spoke to her and about her. In the wee hours of the morning I went off to the loo to be sick. When I came back, Joan said “she’s just after asking is Teresa gone home?”. I went to the top of the bed, held her hand and asked “Mam, are you ok? Are you in pain? Do you know who I am?” Peggy leant around me to say to Joan as clear as anything “That wan thinks I’m losing my marbles!! 😂

I remember running for help to the nurse’s station in the dimmed lights to tell them Peggy was fully awake and talking and they not believing me …. thinking I had fallen asleep and dreamt it. I myself was afraid I was daring to dream! Doctors were called and couldn’t believe it. They asked her her name and her husband’s name and she could answer both. Against all the odds, Mam had woken up! I rang Anne-Marie with the good news and she arrived at around the same time as the priest who had prayed over her the evening before. The priest went in through the curtains to Peggy …. who was sitting up having tea and toast …..and came straight out asking “Sorry, girls. I’m looking for the woman I prayed over last night?” We both answered “That’s her!!” in unison.

The Peggy I Knew!

Now, Peggy wasn’t out of the woods yet and would still need coiling so the following day when she was considered well enough, she was transferred by ambulance to the Adams McConnell Ward (neurosurgical ward) at Beaumont Hospital, Dublin on April 22nd 2004. Again, Anne-Marie drove me up….if ever there was an angel….!!

This was such a scary time for all of us as we had never dealt with hospitals before. When you are not familiar with how they function, you don’t know how what questions to ask and when. Everything is quite overwhelming and exhausting. I remember the kindness of friends who brought me to their home for a cooked meal as I had no time to shop, cook or do laundry. At the hospital, I remember the warmth and care shown to my mother, to me and to my family from the staff in Adams McConnell which made things so much easier. Despite being busy, most of the nurses in particular were absolutely brilliant. My mam looked so small and frail; my biggest concern was nobody could see the real Peggy, always full of life, and that she would be “written off”.

Beaumont Hospital (Dublin)

I remember sitting outside Beaumont in the fresh air while they made the first of three attempts at coiling. I wasn’t at all prepared when each of the attempts failed. Peggy’s blood vessels were in spasm and they were afraid they had caused her to stroke. In those long days between coiling attempts in the High Dependency Unit, I remember the other patients - the man who had fallen off a ladder and suffered major brain trauma, the lady who had a brain haemorrhage but was then discovered to have a terminal tumour, the man who kept forgetting the previous days visits from his family like Goundhog Day. Mostly I remember the great families who were all in trauma of their own but willing to support each other with a smile or a chat.

The nurses were great; in particular to Eloise and Cathy who were so kind to me personally But I especially want to mention Caitriona who was there for me on the really harrowing days when the coiling attempts failed and further intervention was eventually ruled out. The neurosurgeon’s advice was to take Peggy home and give her time to heal. That was so hard to explain to my family; there was no more to be done. Caitriona took the time to convince me to trust them, she pointed out the letters of hope on the message board from people who had been in the same bed as Peggy and had pulled through. We took her advice and decided to “take our chances”. Her kindness will stay with me forever.

St. Brigid's Hospital, Carrick-on-Suir - disgracefully closed in recent years as a step-down facility!

The good news is that after three months in hospitals in Beaumont, Cork, Waterford and Carrick-on-Suir, Peggy returned home to us at the end of June 2004. Her recovery was truly remarkable. It was a scary time as we were afraid that she would haemorrhage again. But which each passing week, the likelihood of a re-occurrence was diminishing. She was perished with the cold though when she came home from hospital even though it was the middle of summer. Her short-term memory was awful but she made lists of what needed to be done e.g. renewal dates etc.

We had been due to go on a Baltic cruise that summer which had to be cancelled. One evening on the phone, Peggy asked me, “Was I ever in Copenhagen, Helsinki or Riga? I found a cruise itinerary today in the drawer!” When I laughingly explained that no, we hadn’t gone as we cancelled, she said “Oh thanks be to God, I had no memory of it at all!”

She came to Dublin with Mickey and Martin in early December of 2004 eight months after and we took photo a photo of the four of us on the sofa. We were so grateful to the staff and physicians in Beaumont in particular, at every level of care. Their help gave her back to us that Christmas.

The 4 of us back together in Dublin - 11 Dec 2004

I’m delighted to say that we had our beloved Peggy with us for a further 10 great years. Ten years during which we visited Spain, Italy, Greece and Turkey….and had great celebrations for my Dad’s 90th birthday and Peggy’s 80th. She recovered extremely well. Like many people with brain injury, in the early days she was somewhat different personality-wise. It was like that comedy film “Liar, Liar” where she would blurt out exactly what she was thinking. Over time she re-developed a partial filter to the relief of all around her. It’s funny cos Charlie only got to know Peggy after the brain haemorrhage and he loved the way she would “shoot from the hip, and take no prisoners”. For the rest of us, it took a bit of getting used to! 😂

I often still think about the wonderful nurses and medical staff in the Adams McConnell Ward. I also think of the other patients and their families with whom we shared that time. Many were not as lucky as Peggy. The treasured memories I have are of all the wonderful kindnesses and practical support shown to Peggy and to me and my family by our friends, neighbours, relations and work colleagues. They pulled us through.

As a payback, the Beaumont Hospital Foundation is one of my favourite charities (https://www.beaumontfundraising.ie/about-us) and I try to support and promote their various initiatives. Founded in 1995, it supports the significant medical contribution which Beaumont Hospital makes to the community and to thousands of patients from all over Ireland who access the hospital's many unique medical specialties. It encourages donations and fundraising events (e.g. raffles, golf, marathon participation) to fund vital equipment and services. You can support online and I’m sure they’ll put it to good use treating someone else’s mam or dad. Your health IS your wealth! ❤️